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Frequently asked dumbass questions...

Dumb question: Are you a "real" store?
Smartass reply: Yes, yes we are! We have an honest to goodness real storefront where you can squeeze your butt into each piece to see how it fits (you break it you buy it!). All the clothing lines are sized differently and the only way to know how they compare it to try the damn thing on!
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Dumb question: When the hell are you open?
Smartass reply: Our store is always open! Well almost. Monday thru Thursday we are open from 10am till 7pm. Fridays & Saturdays we stay open later for you partiers, 10am till 8pm. We're even open on Sunday! 12 to 5pm. Every once in a while we close for a holiday, you know the biggies. If you can't figure out which ones those are than call us at 503-585-1950 before you waste the gas.
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Dumb question: I'm lost, where in the world are you?
Smartass reply: We’re right here damnit! You’re the one who's lost! Go to "visit us" to help find your way.
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Dumb question: Do you have gift certificates?
Smartass reply: Damn right! We accept money in just about any form you can offer it, that’s the point in running a business isn’t it? We even accept tips! (but I already know not to eat yellow snow) We take Visa, Mastercard, Amex, Discover, Debit, Gift Cards, & Cash.
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Dumb question: I bought something 6 months ago and now it doesn't fit, can I have my money back?
Smartass reply: No. If some flirty sales person got you to buy a bunch of stuff and you were too lazy to bring it back promptly, tough! We’re smartasses but please treat us with a bit of respect. We will do exchanges/returns on new, unworn, unwashed merchandise within 10 days of purchase for in store credit. No refunds on jewelry, hats, and stationary items.

In the spirit of the holiday season, items purchased in November & December can be returned until January 10th.
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More Dumb Online Questions coming soon!